“I went to the doctor” Madeleine’s Story

By Madeleine, an Ex-Christian Scientist Group Contributor.

When I finally decided to leave Christian Science after thirty years, what I knew for sure was that if I no longer believed that it healed, then it was my responsibility to take care of my body and see a doctor; I couldn’t just sit on the fence and not believe anymore but also not take care of my body.

For many, many years I had been convinced that there was something wrong with my heart. I was very scared about my symptoms of shortness of breath, dizzy spells and what felt like heart palpitations. Of course I had prayed and gotten help from a practitioner, and I would feel better (which I thought was a healing) and then the symptoms would return. This had gone on for years.

I talked about it with my with my dear friend, who had once been a born-again Christian, and really understood my struggles in leaving Christian Science. I told her I was terrified and just knew they would tell me I had heart disease. She gave me the name of her doctor. I was so thankful for the referral and made an appointment right away.

With great anxiety I went to the appointment, but I felt great relief the minute I walked into the waiting room. The doctor was wonderful, relaxed and sweet. When she asked me the inevitable question, “When was your last visit to the doctor?”, I explained my history and she listened patiently with no judgment whatsoever.

She gave me a full exam and carefully explained everything as she went. I was amazed at this, and felt so taken care of. Then came the EKG and echocardiogram. She said that my heartbeat was fast but my heart was sound and strong— what a huge relief!

She suggested that maybe the fast heartbeat was a result of anxiety….bingo!

She gave a prescription to help me relax, which I took for a while until I no longer needed it. It took about a year for my body and thoughts to relax into this new life.

Seven years later, I’m still seeing the same doctor. She’s wonderful.

3 comments

  • Noel

    This is such a lovely story. I frequently encounter people who distrust doctors as the guise of Big Pharma and not interested in curative measures. While I still have my own skeptical concerns about medical practitioners (mostly in their creative ability), they have turned out to be a far superior option to the hours of praying and Sunday School that was wasted in my teen years.

  • Chrystal

    I am so glad you have left christian science! Also: that your friend referred you & that you discovered your issue is anxiety!

    I am on 2 anxiety meds and I am finally walking around feeling calm all the time! It’s such a relaxing feeling to not be triggered all day, every day!

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so happy to say that the doctors I have met over the years are so caring & kind. Also, your anxiety over going to see the doctor after a lifetime of not going — I relate to that, too. This is so normal for Ex Christian Scientists.

    Huge hugs!

  • titaniaj

    Hi, I’m an ex Christian scientist. I live in Northern California. I grew up as a Christian Scientist. I am 55 years old.

    I’m still feeling a lot of different emotions since my mom who was also a CS died from a major stroke 2 months ago.

    She was only 75.

    If only she had gone to the doctors three months ago when she started having heart pains and pre stroke symptoms, she would be with us now.

    But because she didn’t believe in doctors she wouldnt go. 

    My mom did not have Medicare when she was admitted to the hospital after the major stroke and so the few days she spent in the hospital and in hospice were expensive.

     The hospital bills ate up the few hundred thousand dollars she had left in retirement. 

    If my mom had enrolled in medicare, I would have had an inheritance!

    In her will, she left the church ten thousand dollars.

    But that’s not what is bothering me the most about Christian science. It’s the fact that this has happened to several people in the church. People that have died unnecessarily because they wouldn’t see a doctor.

    Two years ago, Our first reader was only in his 50s when he died suddenly and no one in their family would say what his illness was. Just that he died suddenly at home.

    I think that’s when I began wondering about Christian science. That’s when I decided to enroll in health insurance and get checked out by a doctor.

    Ive visited church twice since moms died, but i dont have the courage to go back to church and tell them how I feel because they are such nice and peace-loving people. I don’t want to impose.

    Anyways thank you for letting me share my story with you. There is more to the story that involves how the nurse practitioner completely let my mom down in her final hours. I will share that with you perhaps next time.

    Sincerely,

    Titania