I’m a recovering Christian Scientist: Lilly’s Thoughts

By Lilly, an Ex-Christian Scientist Group Contributor. Lilly is a pseudonym, to ensure anonymity.

I’m a recovering Christian Scientist. There are many layers to shed, and I am thankful it is finally taking place, but sometimes it is so easy to slip back to my C.S. way of thinking, which includes lots of guilt, fear, denial and shame.

Christian Science taught me to keep every problem, every negative thought or feeling or sickness, quiet and hidden. This has resulted in years of hidden shame, guilt and a bad case of perfectionism mixed with high anxiety. So I’m ready to move on and finally enter reality.

Having kids has definitely been a huge wake-up call for me. I want them to feel safe and listened to when they have fears or pain. I never, ever want them to feel ashamed for feeling a certain way. I’m so glad that they have a chance at deciding early on what they want to believe.

One comment

  • nick

    Thank you! Guilt shame anxiety etc. Yep you nailed it.
    I was raised CS attended a day school in los angles and a boarding school in Connecticut in the 1980s.
    CS isn’t Jones town, although the cult like aspects made me uneasy as a kid. I did like the academic communities I was in. For 3 years, But almost dying of double pneumonia at age 3 before my nonCS father rushed me to the er.
    My mother married a practitioner in 1984 when I was 11
    The man turned out to be the worst human being I ever met. Gold digging manipulative, dishonest, and all perpetrated through the I’m a man of God bull stuff. Oh you have a problem with my behavior…must be something wrong with your thinking, you need to work on your tears and wheat. Blah blah blah.
    I do believe in God, But I got here the long way shunning religion for much of my life because of my experiences in CS.
    Perhaps I shouldn’t blame the church for one bad stepfather who acted more like a Catholic priest than a CS practitioner.
    I appreciate your story.
    Thank you

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