I just went on an Amazon bender. I originally went on to find a paperback version of Carolyn Fraser’s book, ‘God’s Perfect Child’ for my husband, and stumbled on several books, only one of which I had previously heard of. In the last 24 hours, since the books began arriving, I have voraciously consumed both ‘father mother god’ by Lucia Greenhouse and ‘Perfect Peril’ by Linda S. Kramer. There is one more to arrive, a memoir called ‘Blue Windows.’ Are there any that I am missing that you guys could recommend? I really find this therapeutic, but also surprisingly upsetting. I’m glad the other one hasn’t arrived yet. I think I need a break. But I am ready to do more ‘knowing the truth.’ LOL. No, the real truth!
– Katie J.
Years after leaving the movement and residing in limbo about that, I read a fascinating biography of Mary Baker Eddy, the one by Gillian Gill. It’s not ‘authorized’ Christian Science literature and Gill is not a Christian Scientist. The author’s interests and motives seem to be placing MBE’s life events in context—her family story as well as historically/socially—and also analyzing her decisions, convictions, and actions within that same context.
Its primary effect was removing any remaining spell that Mary Baker Eddy herself still held on me; for example, now when I read a renowned passage of hers, I can hear that it’s an overwrought tangle of words that distract from the fact that she’s not saying anything of substance half the time. Additionally, I better understand the politics of the creation of the church. She was trying to stick a flag in these ideas flying around in that time period, and claim them for her own; to attempt to coalesce those thoughts into a solid creed that society would allow to compete with traditional Christianity.
In the five or so years since I read it, my life has been almost consistently tumultuous. As though some larger truth is trying insistently to make itself heard and seen. I spent a little time letting myself ponder a godless world, and now I feel myself moving back toward agnosticism, building my concepts of god and faith with very small pieces, one at a time. What a curious journey we’re all on.
I keep taking deep breaths like I have been crying when I have not. I think it is because my interior world keeps experiencing little explosions of anger, sadness, indignation, disbelief as I read.
This site offers support resources to help individuals negotiate a transition in a manner that best fits their needs and convictions. We do not advocate any one particular path but acknowledge that there are many legitimate pathways that can be personally and spiritually fulfilling.