Practicing Radical [Self] Reliance: Self care for former Christian Scientists (and for life in general)

This post was originally shared on Nov. 9, 2016. The holiday season can be a difficult time so we are sharing it again as a reminder to everyone to take care of themselves. 

With the holiday season upon us, we are sharing some of our favorite self-care techniques. Self-care is often a difficult concept for former Christian Scientists, and it is an on-going process.

If you feel things are really bad:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Lifeline Crisis Chat: https://t.co/UXJqH6Y0KA

Self-awareness:

• Understand your body. Get enough sleep and drink plenty of water.
• Be comfortable: don’t overeat, eat healthy, balanced meals.
• Wear clothes that feel good, especially underwear. Go braless if it makes you feel better in your own skin, or find the best fitting bra that you can – a good bra is worth its weight in gold.
• Medicate appropriately. Address pain with medical professionals and be kind to your body.
• Know what your “baseline” feeling/mood is. Notice when it changes, by be patient and kind with yourself.
• Knowing when to ask for help. Knowing when to seek professional help i.e. a doctor, therapist, psychologist, friend, family member, etc.
• Therapy and counseling options may be helpful. When in doubt, “treat yourself like you are someone you love.”
• Accept that you are human and mistakes will happen.
• Accept emotions rather than fighting them, even if you don’t know where the emotions are coming from.
• Know that it is OK to be sad, angry, depressed. These are real human emotions. You are a real human. Don’t beat yourself up for having them.
• Accept that you are human and you have a physical, material body. Embracing sensuality is neither gendered nor an indulgence, it is part of the human experience. Touch is one of the most powerful sensations that we have: explore it and own it.
• Do something that stimulates your body and/or brain:
• Exercise: biking, pilates, walking, yoga, meditation, journaling, writing.
• Do something that grounds you:
• Keep track of your moods, pet your cat/dog/horse/chicken. Craft, garden, paint.

Be in control:

• Have your own bank account.
• Know how much money you have, where it comes from, where it goes.
• Use a budgeting tool to understand your spending habits (mint.com)
• Say “no” when you need to. You don’t need an excuse.
• Enforce your boundaries.
• Reserve one or two nights a week for yourself, adjust as needed.

Know that when you start establishing boundaries, you may initially get some “backlash” from those who are used to running over you. Hold your ground, boundaries are very important for your well being. The more you say “no” to things, the better you will get at it. It’s ok to say “yes” to things that you do have time and energy for, and saying “no” to the rest will help you find that balance!

Be patient with yourself and others as your perspectives change: the morals you were brought up with may be arbitrary and others may have different values, so try to keep an open mind and not be critical of others. If it doesn’t affect you/others, don’t make it your drama. Own your feelings and examine what makes you uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to change your views based on your new understanding of life.

Links some people have found helpful:

PLEASE: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/reduce_vulnerability.html You can google “DBT Please” for more. These are for regular maintenance.

Distress Tolerance: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/distress_tolerance1.html These are for when you are overwhelmed in the moment. Different things you can do when in an emergency. Google “DBT Distress Tolerance” for more.

What do you find helpful? Let us know in the comments! 

The ExCS

This site offers support resources to help individuals negotiate a transition in a manner that best fits their needs and convictions. We do not advocate any one particular path but acknowledge that there are many legitimate pathways that can be personally and spiritually fulfilling.