How to find a therapist is an evergreen topic among former-Christian Scientists. In the United States, folks can get in touch with their insurance companies or speak to their primary care medical provider to get a referral. The Psychology Today website (www.psychologytoday.com has been helpful for many former CS. Secular Therapy (https://www.seculartherapy.org/) a guarantees a non-religious experience. Other places to look include https://www.inclusivetherapywellness.com/ and https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/locations For Black folks: https://www.blacktherapistlist.com/
Many thanks to the Ex-Christian Science Facebook group members who helped contribute to this.
Step-By-Step: Finding a Therapist
Go to the Psychology Today website (www.psychologytoday.com).
Click on the “Find a Therapist” tab at the top of the homepage.
Enter your location (city, state or zip code) in the search bar and click “Search.”
Browse through the list of therapists in your area. You can filter the results by various criteria such as insurance accepted, specialties, therapy modalities, and gender.
- This is where selection can get a bit confusing- There are multiple different modalities of therapy, and within those modalities, there are numerous ways to approach its use. This link https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/types-of-therapy will help to give you a general idea of what therapies are available, as well as what their specific target is within your treatment.
- Some former-CS have found the the use of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Poly-Vagal theory, and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) as well as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Trauma Focused therapy styles to be helpful.
- Some former-CS have found Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) not as helpful, but especially for those with trauma of any kind.
Click on a therapist’s profile to learn more about their background, experience, and treatment approach.
- If you are immediately turned off of a therapist by their profile, do not endeavor to ‘give them a shot’ unless there are no other qualified providers; This is the person who you will be trusting with your deepest vulnerabilities. You need to feel safe.
- Read client reviews and ratings to get an idea of the therapist’s reputation.
- It is valid to ask for references if none are available. Those are likely to be colleagues- not their other clients (Patient/provider privacy) but are still deeply helpful.
Contact the therapist directly through the phone number or email provided on their profile to schedule an initial consultation or appointment
- Consider writing a short blurb about what you are looking for in therapy; the specific challenges you are handling, background as important, pressing matters. You want to give them the idea of your needs, insofar as much as you can.
Example:
Dear [Therapist’s Name]
I am writing to inquire about your therapy services (Specifically whatever kind of therapeutic style you are most interested in). I am seeking therapy for [briefly describe the reason or issues you are seeking help for- Complex trauma stemming from a high-control environment, for example].
I would like to schedule an initial consultation to discuss my concerns and see if we would be a good fit for therapy together. Please let me know your availability and preferred contact method to schedule an appointment. Thank you for your time and assistance. I look forward to potentially working with you.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
Consider reaching out to multiple therapists to find the best fit for your needs and preferences. I generally reach out to 3 or 5 at a time. You have a list of professionals, and a form letter. You are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. You want a good fit; a therapist declining to work with you is a good thing, though difficult to hear. It will mean better care in the long run.
Once you have chosen a therapist, discuss payment options, schedules, and any other important details before starting your therapy sessions. Therapy can be expensive; That said, most therapists have sliding scales for those in need of them, and many take insurance.
Attend your scheduled sessions and be open and honest with your therapist about your concerns and goals. Remember that finding the right therapist may take time and it’s okay to try out a few before finding the best fit for you.
Your therapist should be someone you’re sad you can’t be best friends with, and just grab dinner. You should value their insights, but not be afraid to speak up when they’re off the mark in regards to your experiences. Overall, you should trust them, or at least be able to tell them that you don’t trust them yet. That takes time to build, and that is okay. As a bare minimum, I would say that you should feel at least comfortable within five sessions, and if you do not feel comfortable at that point, then it is time to try someone else. You can tell them that, or you can ghost them (after they’re paid!) it is up to you.
This site offers support resources to help individuals negotiate a transition in a manner that best fits their needs and convictions. We do not advocate any one particular path but acknowledge that there are many legitimate pathways that can be personally and spiritually fulfilling.
I am so glad to have found this website.
I was wondering if the author could elaborate on the comment “Some former-CS have found Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) not as helpful, but especially for those with trauma of any kind.”
My current therapist uses CBT and honestly I’m not finding it all that helpful and at times I find it triggering. (I feels to me like the message is: If I just change my thinking and actions everything will be ok). Curious what other’s experiences are and what led to the comment about. Thanks!
Hello! I’m am the author, and may be able to help!
So, CBT (for me) runs the line of ‘just change your thoughts!’ Which is a trigger from a CS upbringing. (ie: ‘your thought is what is wrong’)
It also is coming from the perspective of that whatever your brain is saying (ex. My boss hates me and wants to fire me) is factually untrue or objectively inaccurate.
The issue with that is it doesn’t take into account the fact that there WERE TIMES in your life that it WAS an accurate take.
The ‘wiring’ of your brain is looking for patterns, and if that pattern is present, it means that you’re in danger; CBT tells you that your pattern recognition is correct, but the answer you arrive at is not- so just tell yourself the ‘correct’ answer over and over until it is corrected.
This is possible, but can FEEL like gaslighting, and doesn’t address (on its own) that there WAS a time that your ‘incorrect’ solution was something that kept you safe and well.
That is where trauma informed professionals are needed, because they can come at it from a different perspective, and teach you when CBT is useful, rather than using it as a catch all.
You might consider telling your therapist that CBT isn’t helping you- if that’s a problem for them, then that is a problem with the THERAPIST, not you.