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Thanksgiving 2020

The Thanksgiving Day service is the only ‘special’ service the Christian Science church offers. The readings from the desk include the Presidential proclamation for Thanksgiving, as well as a few passages from The Bible and Science and Health. The service is then opened to the congregation for them to share ‘testimonies of healing and sharing of experiences in Christian Science.’

The following are testimonies from Ex-Christian Scientists, as they give thanks for having left Christian Science. Thank you all for your contributions!

We at The Ex-Christian Scientist offer no readings, or lengthy proclamations, merely our sincerest thanks for everyone who has contributed to our efforts. We do not advocate any one particular path but acknowledge that there are many legitimate pathways that can be personally and spiritually fulfilling.

All Thanksgiving posts are tagged Thanksgiving. Comments are moderated and closed automatically after 30 days.

I’m grateful for finally realizing the extensive, deep trauma my time in Christian Science has left me with, so that I can finally get the help I need. I’m grateful for my wonderful therapist, who showed me that prayer was not the only way to heal. Lastly and most importantly, I’m grateful for the opportunity to finally see the world as it truly is—completely and entirely REAL—and that I can finally allow myself to experience the purely human existence we all deserve.

– Sarah R.

I am thankful for the friendships that I’ve made with people who push me out of my comfort zone. I never would have made these friendships in my CS days because I would have worried that these people and their diverse and interesting ideas would somehow ruin my immaculate thoughts. I’m grateful that I know how to think for myself now, and that I have relationships that bring me joy as a result.

– Anon.

I want to express my gratitude today and every day for having medical care now.

But I will get back to that in a moment. One thing I was taught in Christian Science was black and white thinking. This means that “if we think good thoughts from God, then we will experience only good things in our life!” vs. “if we think thoughts that aren’t from God, like feelings of imperfection and sickness, then we won’t be able to get the good things from God in our life.”

We were constantly told, in Christian Science, to “align our thoughts with God!” And we were taught that bad things don’t exist because there is no room for bad things to exist, because God, Good, fills all space! If we find ourselves feeling less that God-like, then we must have changed our thought and lost our focus on God.

This is not something that Christian Scientists do only on Sundays during church, and then forget about the rest of the week. No, this is something they strive to do 24/7. “Pray without ceasing.” It’s a command, to constantly align our thoughts with God. We were never allowed to feel frustrated, angry, weak, “less than,” sick, pride, sadness, grief…. we were only allowed to ever feel grateful, happy and joyous. That’s IT. No emotional spectrum that is normal for healthy humans to feel.

When I left Christian Science, I had this erroneous belief that medical science must be the cure all, since Christian Science prayer and “treatment” hadn’t healed me. I had been taught you can ONLY do medial or Christian Science treatment, not both together because they would cancel each other out. I had always chosen Christian Science treatment.

I rejected Christian Science for myriad reasons, some of which were long standing problems that wouldn’t yield simply to my God-like thought.

So, naturally, I assumed that now I was pursuing medical care, that it would completely fix me. I have seen this from so many other Ex Christian Scientists. We are often stunned when medical science can’t cure us in one visit, or give us a magical pill that will cure us after a period of time. It took some learning on my part to realize that medical science is an ACTUAL Science. It takes time to figure out problems, it takes time to hypothesize what might be wrong. Tests need to be done which may or may not bear out the theory. And maybe operations or medicines get tried over the course of finding help for our long standing problems that honestly never had any care despite that we were taught that Christian Science Treatment “is the best care.” (It’s actually just ignoring a problem and thinking good thoughts at it; it’s not effective in any way. Christian Scientists would argue me on this point, but they are actually wrong. The human body has an amazing ability to heal a whole lot of its problems without interference. The human body is quite an amazing miracle!)

Anyway, so I am so grateful for medical care. I had heart surgery almost 2 years ago now and it helped me so much. I now know when my heart is jumping around and being weird, that it won’t actually kill me. Before the heart surgery, I was at danger of being killed by my heart. But now most of that problem has been fixed with a surgery that I got to go home from at the end of the day.

I have had several different heart medicines to mitigate the rest of the problem. I have been enduring a different lasting heart problem post-surgery for the last year, because I have been on the wrong medicine. Last week, my doctor heard me and I felt like I saw a light bulb go on over his head, he finally understood the scope of the issue I have been dealing with multiple times per day. He read my entire chart – what medicines I have been on, how I have responded to them, when I had the surgery …. And then he prescribed a different medicine for me!

I have been on this new medicine for about a week now, and it is so promising. I am not having the problem I have been experiencing for the last year post-surgery. Not like I was. I imagine in 2 months he will increase my dose. But for now, I need to be on this smaller dose while my body adjusts to this medicine.

I am just so grateful for medical care and actual science that may take time to sort out what is wrong, but then finds a solution over time. I may not have the “perfect” body that works as well as it did when I was in high school, but I am grateful to have medical care that is helping me live a better life than I would be without it, and relying only on my thoughts and exclusive, unending positivity.

– Former Christian Science Practitioner

This is my first testimony of any kind, and it will probably be my last. I am grateful to Christian Science for coming to me in my life where I needed to learn that religion and life could be a positive experience. I am equally grateful that I am no longer a Christian Scientist, as I have moved on. Among the positive things that Christian Science taught me was about how love is unlimited and that we all are part of a much larger spiritual world that we cannot see. I moved beyond Christian Science when I felt the religion, and religion as a whole limited my ability to further understand where I (we) fit in the universe that extends beyond existence in this material, physical world. I am married to someone who is still practicing CS and I support her in her quest for understanding, as she supports me in mine. It was probably much easier for me to move on from CS as I was not raised in the religion. I married into a CS family where more than half of the extended family members have moved on from CS as well. Some have left for reasons that are expounded by members on this FB page, and some have left for reasons like mine. CS just did not answer their questions. The move beyond CS can be done. It has been done. It is not easy. I have family and friends that have discharged themselves from true cults that gaslight their members and dwell in the realm of hyper-negativity. One’s truth can be found anywhere, and I believe it is up to each individual to find their own truth, and not be constrained by peer and family pressure. I respect everyone who are working to find their true path in the uncovering and developing of their spirituality. Even if this path is in a church that I no longer support. Blessed be.

– CWL

On this beautiful Thanksgiving morning, I want to thank all the testifiers for sharing. I thank the admins of this website for giving us this space to share with each other every year.

In Christian Science, I was taught to constantly be grateful about everything, no matter what. Be grateful for severe pain in my back, because it taught me to pray to God. Well, I have known someone for 2 decades now who has never washed their hands with soap. This morning, as I washed my hands for the 5th time in less than 30 minutes (I was doing the dishes and cleaning my sink and preparing food … lots of hand washing during kitchen activities), I was suddenly grateful to realize that the Corona Virus has scared this person into finally washing their hands with soap and wearing a real mask! At first, they were wearing a flimsy cloth covering, but now is a proud owner of an actual, industry prepared mask. So I am grateful to the Corona Virus for teaching this person to wash their hands with soap and to wear a proper mask and respect something other than themselves – respecting science and a virus.

I look forward to medical science and government distribution planning to get everyone the vaccine. I am grateful to medical science – all the Lab Coat Heros – the scientists who wear lab coats who are working so hard to find a cure and to find a vaccine. They are doing good work and I look forward to getting my vaccine when it’s available to the American Public.

– Chrystal C

I am grateful for every single material cell in my material body and for materia medica for finding material treatments for material disease that have enhanced and prolonged my material life. I’m also grateful for Stephen Sondheim, whom I choose to call God. But that’s just me.

– Mike L.

I am grateful for medical science and for advances in mental health treatment. Having lived unhappily for nearly seventy years as a male, I was somewhat stunned when the dam broke last year and I began to transition to female. With help from supportive doctors, counsellors, and my wife, I am now living full time female. I am undergoing facial and body electrolysis, and my hair is growing out to show more clearly my femininity. I take testosterone suppressants and estrogen, and hope, when I have been on hormones for a year, that I will be able to have genital re-purposing surgery (my term).

With my cs background, I had lived my life denying this truth about myself. In childhood, my Sunday School education helped load my brain with mbe’s inhumane ideas about the unreality of matter and the unreality of unhappiness. Because of cs, I buried my pain with humor and superficiality in relationships. Now, rather than paying practitioners peddling preposterous propositions plagiarized from Phineas Quimby, I regularly receive real reinforcement from recognized, registered therapists. I am so grateful to be free of mbe’s insanity, and grateful to know so much more of the terrible truths about cs.

– Linda

My kids and I are enjoying our annual viewing of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade while we eat our annual Thanksgiving feast of nachos and I am so happy not to have the exhausting work and cleanup of endless cooking after Christian Science church service.

I want to share my thanks for my family members who are still Christian Scientists who, for whatever reason, are respecting the state laws and suggestions around the Corona Virus. I am so grateful they are wearing masks and understanding my rules around having socially distant, outside, small group visits with them. Sitting outside, far apart from each other, and still wearing our masks. My Christian Science family members are being kind and considerate of my understanding of the science behind the Corona Virus, even if they believe that this virus and disease is fake and a figment of mortal mind or something like that. I am so glad they are being honest with me when I ask them about their own social distancing that they do during the week. They are being kind and understanding not to invite my family to large holiday gatherings this year.

I also want to share my huge joy at medical care for keeping my Grandpa, a lifelong Christian Scientist, around. We celebrated his 99th birthday right before this Corona Virus issue cropped up. And in a few short months, he will turn 100. It is our hope that a cure and a vaccine will be available in the spring so we can throw him a proper 100 year old birthday party. How often does our grandparent turn 100?

He wouldn’t have made 80 years old if it wasn’t for heart surgery to put in a pace maker. I am so grateful for the medical science that has kept my grandpa alive through a few kinds of cancer and heart issues. I am grateful that my grandpa has turned to medical care over the years and not just succumbed to the cancers and heart problems he has endured. He has expressed guilt to me for not understanding Christian Science enough, but I am glad he has done the right thing and gotten the care. He is such a great man and I am glad my kids have gotten to know him over the years.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

– Jodi Rose

If you would like some completely optional additional reading to accompany today’s testimonies, Rethinking Gratitude without God by Brian Peck has provided some food for thought this Thanksgiving season.

Thank you everyone for your Thanksgiving Testimony contributions, this concludes our post. Should inspiration strike, the comment section will remain open for 30 days.

We wish you a wonderful holiday season. The ExCS Admin Team.

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Thanksgiving 2019

The Thanksgiving Day service is the only ‘special’ service the Christian Science church offers. The readings from the desk include the Presidential proclamation for Thanksgiving, as well as a few passages from The Bible and Science and Health. The service is then opened to the congregation for them to share ‘testimonies of healing and sharing of experiences in Christian Science.’

The following are testimonies from Ex-Christian Scientists, as they give thanks for having left Christian Science. Thank you all for your contributions!

We at The Ex-Christian Scientist offer no readings, or lengthy proclamations, merely our sincerest thanks for everyone who has contributed to our efforts. We do not advocate any one particular path but acknowledge that there are many legitimate pathways that can be personally and spiritually fulfilling.

All Thanksgiving posts are tagged Thanksgiving. Comments are moderated and closed automatically after 30 days.

I’m so grateful that since leaving Christian Science I don’t have to inconvenience the whole family by never being able to start our dinner prep until I get home from church. And they don’t have to worry about disappointing me by declining my invitation to help me fill a pew. (Ah the pride!!!! Look everybody, see my wonderful family!) – Jaycie

I am grateful that I am no longer a Christian Science practitioner. I am grateful to no longer be seen (or see myself!) as part of a spiritual elite who have some sort of advanced “spiritual understanding.” I am grateful to no longer be beholden to a system wherein my value is only as much as my last “successful” treatment. I am grateful that I was never made a Teacher or a Lecturer, and that I wasn’t hired to work in Boston – I am grateful that I am not bringing people into Christian Science, or further encouraging people to deepen their beliefs in CS. I am grateful that I am no longer perpetuating lies that are actively hurting people through denying the reality of our bodies, our minds, and ours hearts, and thus denying medical, emotional, and psychological help. I am grateful that I am not in a system that has such a hollow, empty, superficial, and ultimately harmful view of what it means to love one another. I am grateful that I am no longer being asked to ignore or cover-up lies, corruption, and abuse in the name of serving “The Cause.” I am grateful that my first allegiance is no longer to Mary Baker Eddy, her teachings, and her church. I am grateful that I am no longer engaged in twisting and warping, contorting and corrupting, every verse of the Bible to try to make it conform to Mrs. Eddy’s completely baseless interpretations. I am grateful to be free of the endless perpetual cycle of trying to be good enough, judgment, self-condemnation, guilt, and shame.

I am grateful to be in a new, real, Christian community now, one based in the gracious love of a God who really does know you and love you. I am grateful to be in a new church community where there are no elites, where honesty and integrity are more important than the organization. I am grateful to be in this new community where we can actually accept and love one another, not because of how good we are, or what we can do for one another. Instead, we love each other as real people, broken, messy, full of mistakes, but also gloriously beautiful, amazing, wonderful people – all at once! I am grateful to be in a church community where love and forgiveness are freely given. I am grateful to be in a community where we can laugh together and weep together, where people are actually there to help one another in every way, and where genuine love is truly freely given. – Tanner Johnsrud

I am glad I bailed forty odd years ago, in my twenties. I still pack crap, but have been glad of good medical care in the time since then. I have been able to control allergies with antihistamines, OCD, ADD, and depression with appropriate medications. Twenty years ago, a surgeon removed half of the medial meniscus in my right knee as I had torn it some fifteen years prior to that but just lived with it. Lately, I have begun reading about cs and mbe from writers who have not taken the blue pill, and am strengthened to be learning more about what an insanity cs is and what a complete nutcase mbe was, and how tmc has continued the delusion while the religion fades into well-deserved oblivion. I am especially grateful for the Ex-cs website and the facebook group. – Ron S.

I’m thankful to be FREE of Christian Science. I’m grateful for my family. I’m grateful for the ability to begin to care for my physical, emotional, and mental health, with the support of a wonderful counselor and a good doctor. And most importantly (with respect for those ex-CS who oppose religion, either for now or for always), I am thankful for the real Christian gospel of salvation through Jesus, a supportive church community, beautiful/real hymns, and the hope of heaven.  – Hillary

I’m grateful for modern medicine. I’ve just had a surgery that I’ve been wanting for a long time that will increase my quality of life and reduce my risk of cancer. I’m also grateful for my lifelong (non-CS) friends who still love me despite the fact that I was completely brainwashed when we met. – Spice of Life

I am so grateful to be out of Christian Science. While I was in CS, I sustained numerous concussions. I had 3 after i became a parent in my 30s. I never had any of them checked out medically.

One time I was trying to tell a testimony at a CS Wednesday church service about the most severe concussion I ever had. The First Reader shut me up. She completely invalidated me. It hurts like hell to be invalidated.

This year, in therapy, I learned that vision therapy is a “thing.” I learned that my plethora of eye problems is likely due to all the concussions I have had.

I am grateful for my therapist who validates me. I am grateful for my vision therapy team.

I am grateful to not have to sit through church today.

I wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving and holiday season. – Jodi

Thank you everyone for your Thanksgiving Testimony contributions, this concludes our post. Should inspiration strike, the comment section will remain open for 30 days.

We wish you a wonderful holiday season. The ExCS Admin Team.

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Thanksgiving 2018

The Thanksgiving Day service is the only ‘special’ service the Christian Science church offers. The readings from the desk include the Presidential proclamation for Thanksgiving, as well as a few passages from The Bible and Science and Health. The service is then opened to the congregation for them to share ‘testimonies of healing and sharing of experiences in Christian Science.’

The following are testimonies from Ex-Christian Scientists, as they give thanks for having left Christian Science. Thank you all for your contributions!

We at The Ex-Christian Scientist offer no readings, or lengthy proclamations, merely our sincerest thanks for everyone who has contributed to our efforts.

All Thanksgiving posts are tagged Thanksgiving.

I’m grateful for another year of personal development.

I’m slowly coming to terms with being an imperfect human who makes mistakes and feels anger, sadness and other negative emotions instead of repressing them.

I’m grateful because instead of agonizing and worrying when I feel unwell, now I just book an appointment with my wonderful doctor who listens to how I feel and validates my emotions. I’m grateful for antibiotics that cured a serious kidney infection in a couple of weeks while I rested and watched movies (instead of reading the bible lesson and feeling guilty for having allowed my thoughts to make me sick).

Also, I’m grateful because my daily reading is for pleasure or education. Not to protect my thoughts from a dodgy dark entity.

But mostly I’m grateful for the freedom that comes with knowing that It’s normal to be less than perfect. I feel less guilt and more peace than I ever did before leaving the CS church.

– Michele

I am thankful to the Princess Cruise Line and their medical Team, along with the Portuguese Military and the medical team in the Azores for saving my life. It is my feeling that my super high pain threshold due to past adherence to CS that made me not know that I had appendicitis. If I was aware of my “bodily matter”, I wouldn’t have inconvenienced so many people on the Atlantic Ocean and the Caribbean Princess. I am thankful that when CS couldn’t heal, but could kill; I was able to give myself over to medical professionals to save my life.

– Judith

I never gave a Thanksgiving testimony, but every year for my entire childhood, our family started with the 11 am Thanksgiving Church Service, which of course was right on the heels of the Weds. eve Testimony Service. My father was First Reader for many of those services, which we all were forced to attend, and look happy about it – no, BE happy about it – upon pain of punishment. Because if I didn’t enjoy church, clearly, there was something wrong with me that I needed to fix.

I remember one year after the service, around age 7, we at the kids’ table were given apples, toothpicks, and gummy candies to make apple “turkeys.” You pierce the gummies with the toothpicks, like little candy kabobs, stick them into the apple in a fan pattern for the tail, then add toothpicks for the turkey neck and feet.

We had just heard Baroque music at the Thanksgiving Service, and I asked the organist, What is Baroque? She said, “It’s a kind of art that is full of embellishments. There is no blank space in Baroque style, everything is filled with a flourish or an ornament.” Thus began my still-strong love affair with the music of J.S. Bach.

Her comments had impressed me, as had the Bach, and I was inspired to make a Baroque-style apple-gummy turkey! I stuck as many gummy candies as I could fit onto my toothpicks, and made the most ornate, embellished apple-turkey possible.

Suddenly, I felt an unfriendly, firm hand yank my arm away from my project. My father towered above me, and dragged me into a dark corner far away from our lovely respectable guests, where he pinched me and twisted my arm while calling me “wasteful, greedy, immature” for using too much candy on my apple-turkey. I remember staring at him with no expression – because if i showed any expression, my disdain would be visible and I’d get whipped later for sure — and I thought, “If we didn’t have guests over, you’d be beating me for this, which is totally hypocritical for a First Reader,” and then I thought, “You’re so stupid. You can’t even tell the difference between a Baroque artistic experiment and greed.” Followed by deep loneliness, because my Dad was an artist, too, and I thought that if he knew of my Baroque inspiration, he would have loved it.

It took me years to identify this kind of interaction for what it is: projection.

So, to end my fun reminiscing, I am deeply in awe of the resiliency of my own spirit, and thankful to the health professionals, spiritists (not all of them are quacks – sometimes people can see things that lie outside the experiential or socially acceptable “norm” and that doesn’t make them charlatans or crazy) … to the good friends and seekers with open minds and hearts who have witnessed me cross the bridge between brainwashed, punished and in denial of my physical experiences, into a life where I am empowered, accepted, and acknowledged for my whole human experience: body, mind, spirit, gifts, problems, blessings, the whole thing.

Thanks for listening, and Happy Thanksgiving!

– Anon.

With apologies to Ogden Nash and the other purveyors of doggerel poetry I loved as a kid, here is my homage to Thanksgiving and to my journey out of CS:

Thanksgiving day when I was young —
those testimonies; hymns were sung;
the Proclamation from The Prez –
Another game of “CS Says.”

But now I’m older, healthy, sane
And here to say “It’s purely gain
To leave CS, open my eyes
To Real Life – what a surprise!”

There’s good… and bad, happy… and sad,
Content… and mad, nice guy… rude cad.
I soar…. I crash, kind words… backlash,
Good health… get sick, recover… not so quick.

A friend… a foe, get more…. let go,
Smooth patch…. rough sled, run fast… in bed.
In love… alone, sweet kids…. they’re grown,
Upright… laid low, we reap… we sow.

The lights and shadows, ups and downs….
They’re ALL ok! “Who knew?” I say.
I can embrace it all, and thrive!
Our daily bread while we’re alive.

Mrs. Eddy: On this day
Of giving thanks, I’m here to say
Please take your dualistic crap
And keep it! It’s a big mind trap!

To make us think perfection’s real.
Instead of all that makes us feel?
I’m giving thanks, each day, each night
To know the truth of TRUE insight.

– Lisa M.

This Thanksgiving, I would like to express my gratitude for not having to constantly police my own thoughts.

I was raised in Christian Science. At Sunday School, they taught us that our thoughts can affect the world around us. They said that positive thoughts would have positive effects, and negative thoughts would have negative effects. Because of this, I was told, it was important for each person to police their own thoughts. This was called “standing porter at the door of thought.” I remember they taught me to continuously monitor everything I was thinking. They told me that, if a negative thought entered my head, I had to immediately reject it. If I didn’t, bad things would happen.

“Standing porter” was awful. It brought a new level of stress to everyday activities. If I went to see a play, I had to concentrate on believing positive things about the actors, for fear of causing them to forget their lines. If I watched a game of baseball on TV, I had to concentrate on believing positive things about the players. The game might be happening hundreds of miles away, but I was still afraid that I might accidentally affect the outcome of the game.

Now that I’ve left Christian Science, the fear is gone. The constant mental burden is gone. I am grateful for the real world we live in, a world in which my thoughts cannot affect the world around me — but my actions can!

– Michael

This concludes our Thanksgiving post. Please feel free to contribute any additional testimonies in the comments below.

Please note any comments left on Thanksgiving day will be approved on Friday 11/23. All comments are screened, please view our Comment Policy if you have any questions.

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Thanksgiving – 2017

The Thanksgiving Day service is the only ‘special’ service the Christian Science church offers. The readings from the desk include the Presidential proclamation for Thanksgiving, as well as a few passages from The Bible and Science and Health. The service is then opened to the congregation for them to share ‘testimonies of healing and sharing of experiences in Christian Science.’

The following are testimonies from Ex-Christian Scientists, as they give thanks for having left Christian Science. Thank you all for your contributions!

We at The Ex-Christian Scientist offer no readings, or lengthy proclamations, merely our sincerest thanks for everyone who has contributed to our efforts.

All Thanksgiving posts are tagged Thanksgiving. 

I’m very grateful to be out of the cult of Christian Science. Every day, I demonstrate more and more reason, common sense, and humanity as I continue to leave CS in the rear view mirror. I’m eternally grateful for Caroline Fraser, Lucia Greenwood, Willa Cather, Mark Twain, the privilege of not attending my association any more, and modern medicine. Thank you.

I am thankful I left the CS church this past year after my mom refused to see a doctor when she began having heart attack and stroke symptoms. The practitioner who was close to my mother did not show up to pray for my mom until 3 days after she had the stroke. My mom died 2 days later, frustrated and bewildered. She would be alive today if she had sought medical treatment. A few months later my cousin who was only 55 died because she refused treatment for skin cancer. I lost 2 of my favorite people in the world because they wouldnt see a doctor. I dont have any ill feelings towards the Christian Science Church or its members. All the Christian Scientists I know, have been exceptionally kind over the years. In fact I grew up as a Christian Scientist. They are very kind well meaning people, but they cannot bring back my mom or my favorite cousin who refused medical treatment and died unnecessarily. And this is the reason I left the church. Thank you, Titania
I always love the Ex Christian Science Thanksgiving service. It’s my favorite service of the whole year. I look forward to it every year. Growing up in Christian Science, we always heard the Thanksgiving Proclamation by the President of the United States. I always enjoyed that part of the service, and felt like The President of the United States had written this beautiful piece of writing about our great country, and we got to hear this in church. (For one, brief, shining moment, there was no separation of church and state, and this moment validated the christian science belief system to me.) This year, I am so grateful for so many things. I am especially grateful for that fact that I no longer use the word “grateful” in my every day language. I am happy for something, or I enjoy something. But I am no longer forced to constantly “look for the good and be grateful about every g*d-d*mned thing.” I am grateful for the fact that I can be home, watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade instead of having to be forced to sit still while someone’s relative stands up and talks in a high pitched squeaky voice about whatever the h*ll they want to talk about, for 20 minutes, until the Reader starts interrupting them, saying, “thank you” and trying to get them to sit down, while the rest of us “pray to know the truth about that individual.” I am grateful that last year’s Thanksgiving was the first time my extended family had wine on the beverage table. A handful of us all laughed together that we, as a predominantly Christian Science family had finally all left it and could finally be bold enough to drink wine together, and talk about wine regions and just enjoy it. I had never felt closer to these people. We don’t have secrets anymore. We can all just be ourselves and share laughter now instead of judgement. It’s so liberating! I am so grateful for my psychiatric care and my patient psychiatrist who is helping me figure out meds for my ADHD issues, and depression and anxiety. My life is filling up with color and joy and happiness now, instead of chronic self-judgement and anger. I just picked up my violin this morning, with my healed shoulder thanks to surgery AND rehabilitation! It felt so good to play violin and feel focussed. I bet playing my violin may be a wonderful way to help me focus (as some might do meditation) and be a part of my ADHD recovery. I am grateful for the doctors my kids go to, I am grateful to not have to get the flu anymore. My family and I all got it annually and bi-annually until we started getting the flu shot. It’s WONDERFUL not to have to suffer for 3 days to a week or more with flu symptoms. And then have to play “catch up” with life afterward. I know my Testimony is going long, and I’m trying to keep it brief, per the strict instructions we were given on Thanksgiving day services. Thank you for being patient with me as I try to conclude. I have one more thing I am especially grateful for this year, above all other years since leaving the christian science branch church experience and ultimately the belief system: I don’t have to sit there and hear the g*d-d*mn*d Presidential Proclamation this year. I am certain my Ex CS friends around the world are ALSO grateful they don’t have to hear it. The POTUS of the US is NOT the POTUS of the world. Praise the LAWD!

I am so grateful for knowledgeable, compassionate, and capable doctors. My mother-in-law had illogically initially decided to forgo medical treatment for breast cancer, but despite her postponing the treatment she was able to enjoy many comfortable years of life with her granddaughter. I am also grateful that I am able to communicate clearly with my daughter about her grandmother’s death. Just tonight she asked me, “Why Grandma had to die?” and I was able to have a conversation with her without gaslighting her or invalidating her feelings. I’m also grateful for the endless stream of people who came to send Grandma off and to reminisce about what she meant to them. Without these celebrations of human life we lose our connection to one another. I am truly grateful for basic common sense rooted in human community.

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Thanksgiving 2016

The Thanksgiving Day service is the only ‘special’ service the Christian Science church offers. The readings from the desk include the Presidential proclamation for Thanksgiving, as well as a few passages from The Bible and Science and Health. The service is then opened to the congregation for them to share ‘testimonies of healing and sharing of experiences in Christian Science.’

The following are testimonies from Ex-Christian Scientists, as they give thanks for having left Christian Science. Thank you all for your contributions!

We at The Ex-Christian Scientist offer no readings, or lengthy proclamations, merely our sincerest thanks for everyone who has contributed to our efforts.

All Thanksgiving posts are tagged Thanksgiving. 

I am grateful that our Ex-Christian Scientist community forum and website have been able to help those who are seeking another path. Being constantly told that “CS is a cult,” or that you “should be seeking Jesus” is unhelpful, unkind, and unnecessary. We are not here to tell you that your new path is right or wrong, we are here to provide support, a place to share your stories, and listen to your concerns. Many of us have walked that path before. Although our ages span decades, our stories and experiences are similar. It is heartwarming to see the connections made, friendships grow, and real aid provided. I am thankful every day for the friendships I have made in the ExCS community.

– Kat, Founder of The Ex-Christian Scientist

I am so glad to be a part of this wonderful Ex-Christian Scientist Testimony Meeting on this beautiful Thanksgiving Day. Thank you to all of the previous testifiers. Your healings and insights speak to my heart. The last decade of me being in Christian Science caused me to have increasing depression and anxiety. I denied it as much as anyone ever could, and I worked hard to Know The Truth (which is really the opposite of actual scientific truth!) and my depression and anxiety got worse and worse. I left Christian Science, got brave, and started going to therapy. I found out that my issues were 98% caused by Christian Science. I found this Ex-Christian Scientist forum, and learned the word “validation.” The new friends I have here validated me so much, and my depression and anxiety have lifted so much that I can now have a normal job and do things I couldn’t seem to do before – like grocery shop and buy gas for my car. I am so grateful for my Ex-Christian Scientist friends, my therapist, my psychiatrist, my pharmacy, my kids, my new jobs, my paycheck, gas in my car and grocery shopping. My life is so much happier now that I have left the horrible brain washing cult of Christian Science.

– Chrystal

Words can’t begin to express the gratitude I feel at being free from the mental shackles that Christian Science binds on people. I am free to be who I truly am, and I am free from fear of physical ailments–because I can take real action to address them. I’m grateful that prompt medical attention to a serious infection a couple of years ago saved me from dire consequences that may have included the loss of a limb. Simple antibiotics rose to the occasion for me. I dread the thought of what might have happened had I tried to rely on Christian Science.

– Jeremy

I am thankful to wake up every morning and relax with a cup of tea and a good book of my choosing, rather than sitting clench-teethed at the desk in my mother’s study while forcing myself to get through the most incredibly dull, confusing, guilt-mongering, ridiculous waste of precious morning S&H crap!

– Tessa

I am so grateful for the SCIENCE of medicine. I am grateful for both compassionate and dispassionate medical professionals who use the scientific method to develop REAL CURES for ailments that are inherent in the human form.

I am grateful for objective data that supports their efforts to diagnose, help, and actually CURE me of inherited physical problems as well as physical problems made worse from medical neglect due to christian science.

I am grateful for the SCIENCE of psychology and it’s EFFECTIVE practitioners, psychotherapists. I am on the road to HEALING FROM CHRISTIAN SCIENCE.

I am grateful for non-CS extended family who have opened my eyes to the level of emotional abuse and both emotional and medical neglect that I experienced as a child growing up in the CULT called “christian science”.

I am grateful that I am now healing from existing mental illness as well as the psychological damage done to me by christian science.

I am grateful that many of my family members no longer practice christian science and that some of them get proper medical and mental care from trained & qualified professionals.

I am grateful that the practice of medicine & psychotherapy requires a legal, state-issued license and continuing education and is well-regulated to maintain proper risk/benefit assessments and quality.

I am grateful for compassionate ex-CS friends who made me feel that I was not alone after I left christian science and understood my pain, anguish, anger, confusion, and feelings of betrayal by christian science & the christian science community.

I am even more grateful for this community of ex-christian scientists that provide support, validation, share related experiences, listen, and most importantly–understand and do not deny the problems that christian science created for all of us personally and within our families.

I AM also grateful that I was raised in a religion with a female founder; I had female role models in church leadership. This is the ONLY thing I am grateful to christian science for, and this positive outcome could have been met easily via other means.

I am grateful for psychiatric medication which has helped me stop destroying my life, my marriage, and everything I have worked for.

I am grateful for allergy medication. I am grateful for surgeons who do their job well even when they are dispassionate and did not understand my terror at having a longstanding, debilitatingly painful medical problem permanently FIXED.

I am grateful that they continued diagnosing me after I burst in to tears and the surgeon requested a chaperone in the exam room to protect him from any perception of wrongdoing. And, fixed it was–despite my fear and my surgeon’s lack of understanding of my terror. Because medicine is a REAL science. It works whether you believe in it or not! Cures for ailments are scientifically derived and assessed for risk/benefit and determined objectively whether or not they are medically necessary. The risks and percentages of success are objectively assessed, no promises are made that can’t be kept, and this enabled me to make an informed, rational decision about whether or not to have surgery. While I was full of fear and in debilitating pain.

I am grateful for the kindness and understanding of my non-CS spouse supporting me through all of my medical and psychological issues when I was afraid of facing them.

I am grateful that I have the courage and support that I need in order to leave the damage done to me and my family and countless others–by christian science–behind, for good. This is enabling me to realize my true potential and do good in the world.

I am grateful for finding medical professionals who can kindly handle my fear, as an adult, of medical care even when they do not understand the devastating impact that christian science has had on my physical and mental health. These people operate with kindness and objective procedures and actually help me solve my problems, in absolute contrast to the cold, trivializing, and victim-blaming “method” of christian science “healing”.

– Spice of Life

Thank you all for your contributions. Feel free to continue sharing in the comments below.

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Thanksgiving Testimonies

 

The Thanksgiving Day service is the only ‘special’ service the Christian Science church offers. The readings from the desk include the Presidential proclamation of Thanksgiving, as well as a few passages from The Bible and Science and Health. The service is then opened to the congregation for them to share ‘testimonies of healing and sharing of experiences in Christian Science.’

The following are testimonies from the Ex-Christian Scientists Facebook group, as they give thanks for having left Christian Science. Thank you all for your contributions!

We at The Ex-Christian Scientist offer no readings, or lengthy proclamations, merely our sincerest thanks for everyone who has contributed to our efforts.

“Thank you for your wonderful post (readings) tonight. Many years ago I had a great insight that everything I learned growing up in Christian Science was complete BS and am very grateful to have learned that MBE was psychotic and a narcissist. No matter what happens I know I will be protected from watching my children suffer in pain from an ailment that can easily be treated with medication. When my daughter was kicked from a horse in 6th grade and broke both of her wrists I was able to quickly get her to the pediatrician who immediately began working on her. She had a beautiful healing and didn’t suffer from listening to Larry Groce tapes or a practitioner telling us both we needed to correct our thinking. Who knows what the outcome may have been if we didn’t know about this wonderful world of medical attention. This ability to get my children the medical attention they needed while growing up is the greatest gift that being a non-Christian Scientist has brought me. I am forever grateful!” – S.

“I am so grateful to be part of this healing thanksgiving service. I am grateful for so many insights I have gained since leaving Christian Science, but the most treasured one relates to the healing of a belief of fear of pain. All my life I feared pain. I was protected from experiencing pain for the most part, sometimes with the help of the work of dedicated practitioners, but the FEAR of pain sometime in the future never left me. Now that I have left Christian Science, I no longer fear pain. I know I can rely on modern medicine whenever I need to, and I am most grateful for the freedom this has brought to my life.” – J. 

“I am very grateful for the unfoldment that came to me one night while perusing the Internet. I was really curious about the ‘pro and con’ of Christian Science and related websites, but mainly the ‘con’. One in particular was by the American Atheists. This is where I learned about Mary ‘Faker’ Eddy and her shady background with her ‘discovery’ of Christian Science. It talked about how she borrowed a copy of Quimby’s works, removing his references and inserting her own, then claiming his work to be her work (plagiarism!!!). From this point on, l felt deceived and betrayed, that as a child being raised in this religion by my wonderful single parent Christian Scientist mother, as well as my aunts and uncles up to this point in my adult life, I am through with this cult! 

On an amusing side, to continue with this article, I want to share a paragraph with you here. It’s about the Church Manual (c), Article IX, Section 2. Sudden Decease. 

If a member of the Mother Church shall decease suddenly, without previous injury or illness, and the cause thereof be unknown, an autopsy shall be made by qualified experts. When it is possible the body of a female shall be prepared for burial by one of her own sex.” 

To continue through the American Atheist(c) article, 

One cannot help but wonder just what constitutes ‘sudden decease’ if there be no such thing as death. Since supposedly there is no such thing as ‘injury or illness’, it would follow that all Christian Scientists lack physical bodies, we are left to wonder just what it is that will be autopsied. With regard to the autopsy being performed by ‘qualified experts,’ we wonder if this was a concession by Mrs. Eddy to the world of real doctors – people who can tell the difference between livers, spleens and strangulated hernias. Precisely who these ‘qualified experts’ might be, we may never know. Even so, whenever the nonexistent body of a pretending-to-be dead female is to be prepared for burial – despite the impossibility of death and thus need for burial – said female non-dead non-body should be viewed only by a not-pretending-to-be-dead female pretending to be embodied.” 

After reading this, I couldn’t stop laughing. Before the night was through, I learned about two books (of many) critical of Christian Science. Those being Dr. Linda Kramer’s “The Religion That Kills – Christian Science: Abuse, Neglect, and Mind Control”. Now titled “Perfect Peril”. I bought both and read them cover to cover More than once. It is my opinion that both women set the record straight about Christian Science. I am very grateful to ‘know the truth’ about this bad religion.

I omitted mentioning the second book – foolish me! It’s Caroline Fraser’s God’s Perfect Child – of course!” – G

“I am grateful to have found this site. To have a place where I have discovered that a religion I left four decades ago is , and always has been , never the less, poisoning my entire life. I am grateful for the hideous flashbacks and nightmares I had here initially because it is better to remember. Cannot deal with, cannot purge , what you don’t remember. I am grateful to Elizabeth for listening to my story before I was brave enough to share it with anyone else. I am grateful to Willa Cather for writing those articles while people who knew what a narcissistic, sociopathic, lunatic MBE was from first hand association were still alive, and telling the world about it. Had CS people read it from then on maybe this atrocity of a cult would have never developed to the point it did, and none of us would have had to grow up in it. I am grateful that CS churches and reading rooms are closing, and this abomination of a cult is shrinking…may it collapse completely and its buildings turn to dust. Most of all I am grateful to finally know others who get this, and allow me to be crazy, and go through phases, and speak openly about things I would never speak of anywhere else, and work through things…and to realize for the first time that my childhood really happened, and that the same things happened to other children, and that we somehow survived, and that none of us are alone in this anymore.” – L

“ I am grateful for ibuprofen and the pill, so that I no longer lose 1-2 days of work/school/life 4 or 5 times a year due to miserable cramps, nausea, and vertigo. Through their introduction to my life, I was able to liberate myself from simpering matrons telling me not to believe the Eve myth.” – J.

“I’m grateful for psychology, psychiatry, Prozac, Ativan, and the fact that I had my daughter in the hospital because if I’d had her at home, she probably would have died. Oh, and wine with Thanksgiving dinner.” – A.

“Thank you for the readings on the subject of Thanksgiving. I have much to be thankful for today. Throughout my early life, I was challenged by a false belief: the belief that my thoughts could affect the world around me. I was raised in the Christian Science church, which taught me that the world that we experience is determined largely by our beliefs. For this reason, I was told, I must consciously believe, at all times, that the world is perfect, and I must deny any acknowledgment of the imperfections of the world.

Of course, it was all an illusion, but like many illusions, it had a very real power to hurt me. I developed a habit of denying and repressing my thoughts. I was afraid, all the time, that an incorrect thought would slip through and cause misfortune to me or to the people around me.
I would like to express my gratitude for having seen through this illusion. I know now that I don’t need to be afraid. I know now that my thoughts have zero power to affect the world, unless I choose to act on them.
Knowing the truth has freed me from this false belief. With this freedom has come a tremendous sense of relief. I am free from self-denial and repression, free to see myself as I truly am, and to see the world around me as it truly is: imperfect, and beautiful in its imperfection.” – P.

“I am so thankful for the ex Christian Science movement. Knowing the truth about science based medicine has helped me overcome many physical and emotional issues. Radical reliance on drugs and surgeries has helped me live a healthy, happy existence. I was born imperfect. Scientific research and doctors have helped correct this.

As an ex Christian Scientist, I have shed the fear of my true identity: a mortal and finite woman, capable of many things including the expression of sorrow and loss.

The biggest blessing I have received as an ex-Christian Scientist is leaving behind the secrecy within which Christian Scientists choose to exist. The time for critical, rational thinkers has come. I thank my inquisitive mind for directing me to greater truth, realistic life and my human capacity to love and be loved. My essential spirit and the expression of my soul are reflected in the true principle of human physiology. I am most grateful for the common sense  that directed me and lead me away from Christian Science.” –W

“I would like to express my gratitude for my release from the mental prison of Christian Science that I locked myself away in for the first 41 years of my life. I’m grateful to freely acknowledge when I get sick, or feel pain. I am grateful for medications that heal infections, reduce inflammation, or ease pain. I’m simply grateful to acknowledge the reality of this world around us, both the good and the bad parts of it.” -J

“I want to express my gratitude for learning the real truth about both Christian Science and Mary Baker Eddy when I did. I only wished I had learned about them years sooner. Needless to say, i was aghast and shocked at the truth. However, I am holding my head high and smiling, because my Christian Science past is well behind me. I still think of my beloved Christian Scientist Mother, whom I miss so much, but she is in her rightful place where God delivered her many years ago, and I know she is very happy. I am also eternally grateful for that. Lastly, I pray for all Christian Scientists, that they may have the wisdom to leave this cursed cult, to see it more for what it isn’t (NOT a healing religion, NOT a religion to raise their children in and NOT a religion to try to understand). This is my testimony.” -G

I’d like to express my gratitude for waking up with my coffee and the news like a normal person instead of reading some boring-ass books with strange little metal arms that stick out.

Going to the doctor because I want to take care of myself and not being scared to do it.

Feeling joy.

Feeling sadness.

Listening to other people’s stories,problems,and whatever else they want to share without the crazy Christian Science filter.

Reading normal books.

Watching Little Women: LA, instead of falling asleep at a Wednesday evening testimony meeting.

Lazing around on a Sunday morning instead of falling asleep at a Sunday service.

Having sex or drinking a glass of wine with zero guilt.

Empathy.

Living and loving reality, the good and the bad.

And last but not least, feeling free.

In closing, I’d like to express my gratitude to my sister,for being brave enough to be the first to call bullshit and for helping me find my way out.  -M.

It is interesting to me that my entire life I craved true female friendships. (I had one now & again for a year, here and there, but we moved so often that I was never able to hold on to any!)

I prayed and prayed in Christian Science. Begging God to help me. Checked my motives – my motives were to love and be loved. Express love. And nothing came. For 40+ years. No true best friends who wanted to talk with me. Friends I could support when they were down. Friends I could rejoice with when they were up. I wanted friends who would support me when I was down and rejoice when I was up!

I had a few Christian Science female friends who would show up when I was happy and take my happiness like nourishment. Then chastise me when I could no longer give them pure happiness.

Over the years I decided that all the anguish I felt from the various experiences in the Christian Science faith was valid. And I should touch my toe to the water outside. I learned about Mother Nature and hugged a whole lot of trees and started to feel better! I learned I can talk to trees and gain comfort from their bark. I have learned to appreciate birds of all things, and flowers and the beauty everywhere! I learned to trust this Force. The beautiful energy surrounding Nature.

A friend of mine emailed me and asked me if I would ever like to talk about what it is like to leave Christian Science. I didn’t know what that meant, but I decided to try it anyway! And then another friend of mine and I had talked a lot when a family member of hers was struggling and in a hospital getting help. And I decided to introduce these two people to each other, to see if something like helpful communication and support could work. Lo and behold, all three of us have more in common thanks to our Krazy Sauce upbringing than I could have ever imagined!

Who knew that in order for me to get real female friendships I had to leave Christian Science?

I am so grateful for leaving Christian Science. I now have friendships. And these two friendships led me to connect with a few other acquaintances and lost friendships on the Ex Christian Science forum. And now I have met so many people and suddenly my life is full of abundant supportive compassionate friendships! The validation they gave me on one day alone was one of my most healing moments of my whole life. I sat under a brightly colored fall tree on a park bench just basking in the feeling of unconditional validation.

Thank you to the ExcCS admins for your helpful guidings and memes and thoughts. I am grateful for Ex Christian Science. –J.

I am very thankful that you run this website for Ex-Christian Scientists. In Germany, I  might be at the other end of the world, but  it makes me aware that I am not alone in my longterm experience on leaving Christian Science.

In fact, it is about 15 years ago that I resigned my Motherchurch membership – and some more few years that I started to discover a better life besides Christian Scinece.

This year I am paticularly “SO THANKFUL!!! ” that  I do not feel any guilt any more when I go to see  a doctor.

Getting older, I had a slight breathing problem on certain occassions. A year ago, I went to a dactor nearby to see on it. He sent me to several specialists. It turned out as a heart defect which could be some years old, now. According to the stae of the defect, I got a good diagnose, have now frequent checks on it using modern technology and get good advices how to adapt my daily life and still keep activities on a good level.  Okay, it is not yet totally healed. But it is not neglected any more and well treted.

Some times I had to think how it might have been handled in Christian Science, as far as I got to know similar cases as a former Chgristian Science nurse. I might have tried to pray on it on my own, called a Christian Science practioner or teacher. I might nhave not known about the hidden dangerous circumstances , might have done too heavy activities, might have had serious break downs that are not proper treated – and so even might have passed away within this year.

I think you might understand that I am really thankful this year that I had turned away from Christian Science. -I. 

I am grateful for the tough times that forced me to question, and ultimately to leave, Christian Science.

The president of Principia College held a reception for us graduating seniors, and I remember him saying that many of us would do well, and some of us would undoubtedly “fall flat on your face.” Well, I was one who fell flat on my face. I hit a series of dead ends after college. My marriage (to a Christian Scientist) unraveled. I lost two jobs, couldn’t find another, felt like I just didn’t fit anywhere. It was emotionally a tough time, and I had a growing realization that the fairy-tale mentality of Christian Science was holding me back from achieving maturity. It was a long process, but with a growing willingness to trust my instincts I made progress.

As I look back on those painful years of adjustment I realize that I was fortunate. Life has worked out far better than I had any right to expect. If I had stayed in Christian Science I am sure I would have continued to fail in many ways: relationships, family, career, health. I am grateful for the tough times that forced me away from the fantasy thinking that is Christian Science. –B. 

Thank you everyone for your contributions. 

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Please Bring Your Testimony to its Healing Conclusion

The following is a collection of contributions from members of the Ex-Christian Science collective about Church and Sunday School. 

Do you remember at Wednesday evening testimony meetings when people would ramble on, how the first reader would lean into the microphone and say, ‘please bring your testimony to its healing conclusion.’

– Hilary